My life, almost 45 years of it, like anyone else, has been difficult. I know we are not supposed to look back. Learn from it and move on. It is hard when you dream about it! I have made wrong choices. I have loved too much and been taking advantage of. I am a trusting person. I have been second choice in the love department more than once. I have had people come back later and say they realize how wrong they were and apologize. I guess that makes me feel better LOL. Single mom.. did the best I could. I was sick a lot. Whether it be allergies, asthma, migraines… whatever. Now I know it was Lupus causing my issues. Lupus can be caused by stress to the body from LIFE! I know there are other factors too but I feel that with all I have been through this is the result. I try to stay positive and think surely this is not the hand I was dealt. It never helps to be negative. I try to live each day as positive as I can.
With the medication I am on, I have crazy, vivid dreams. This is not always a good thing. I dream about specific times in my life and relive it. Sometimes it makes me think about how different my life would be if that moment would have turned out differently. It also brings back feelings of never being good enough. Not even for myself. People pleaser. I’ve been called that more than once. I know not only chronically ill people have these thoughts and dreams. I hate it. My life has had wonderful times too… my children are a blessing. Why do the bad things always stand out. Ugh
We all just want to be appreciated and loved. We want to be recognized for the job we do at work. We want to live a life of peace. I hope that everyone who reads this has that❤️